I wanted to be a writer so much, I stopped writing.

Did you ever want something so much, you stopped working towards it? Seems paradoxical, doesn’t it?

I’ve always said publishing a book one day would be a life’s dream realized. And when I say always, I do mean always, not in a ‘goal which seemed like a good idea for 2019’s new year resolution’ type of way.

And yet, my last post on this blog was May 2016.

Clearly making great progress on that dream…

Why is that?


1. Perfection is the enemy of Good

I got so bogged down in perfection that every post became this huge, massive undertaking of several weekends and many hours.

I’d SEO the shit out of it, I’d look for the perfect gifs, I’d trawl thesaurus to find the perfect word.

When life happened, as it does, it became increasingly difficult to keep up the lengthy, tedious process I’d established for each post, and increasingly easy to say “I’ll start next week when I have more time” (aka never).

2. I’m actually scared shitless of you seeing this

Creating something and putting it out there for all to judge is scary.

What if you think I’m lame? Or don’t appreciate the cat gifs? (but everyone loves cats?!)

A single negative comment can sit on my mind for weeks on end, going round and round, each circle making my heart sink a little deeper.

Still, what made my heart sink even deeper was realizing I’d stopped writing for fear of judgment from an unknown person in the unknown future.

Hell, if I can scale Peru’s Salkantey mountain at over 4,000metres, I can take someone saying they don’t like my excessive use of bracketed side comments! (Seriously though, these are great)

salkentey
That’s Salkantay in the middle.

At the same time, it’s that very vulnerability that enables the open-heartedness and relatability to what I put out there that, maybe, for a you somewhere sometime, will inspire a change.. or just quite simply make you feel less alone.

Deep breaths. We’re all shitting our pants together here.

 

Thanks for the communal pooping image. So what now?

To become a writer, I need to act like one – and actually, well, write. One is not “simply a writer” by sitting on one’s ass, one “becomes a writer”. The moment I start to write, I am a writer.

So fuck the SEO for now, fuck the perfect formatting – I’ll just write a post every Sunday, and spend no more than thirty minutes on it at a time (I’ve got a huge countdown clock next to me right now, and it is freaking the shit out of me).

 

Good for you Sonia, but what sparked this off!?

I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear, and followed that up with The Quarter-Life Breakthrough by Adam Smiley Poswolsky. Although unplanned on my part, the pairing of the two was almost as if by the design of the universe.

Quarter-Life with its end-chapter thought exercises gave me the awareness to figure out where I want to get to, while Atomic gave me the tools to start building the habits which will get me there.

I highly recommend the two if, like me, you’re currently struggling to find fulfillment and achievement in your everyday.

 

What will you be writing about?

This question was a huge blocker for me, the decision on what the focus for my writing would be.

Should I focus on travel writing, as I traditionally have? But I have so many other interests! Do I even need a focus?

So, I went back to my why.

Why do I write?

The reason I write is to share things I feel are worth sharing – whether that’s first-hand experience of a destination, key takeaways from a book I’ve read, or what I’ve learnt about eating well – all in the hopes that you, dear reader, will have learnt something useful by the end of it.

 

Let me know in the comments or by email if you’ve started, or have already been, working towards a dream of your own. I’d love to know how you keep yourself motivated!

I’ll be sharing my posts every week on Facebook, but feel free to sign up for this blog’s mailing list on the right sidebar.

I can’t promise there won’t be spelling errors, but I can promise lots of lols, learnings and love.

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